Have you ever been embarrassed for your hometown? I certainly have. Very recently. It is almost that all-important time: elections. Not the big presidential elections. Not for senators, governors, representatives. No, it's time to elect a new mayor. And the candidates this town turned out are really pathetic. None of them have a college education. I doubt any of them have ever been outside the midwest.
There's the present mayor, whose recent (and, so far, only) term was a joke. He did nothing for the town and used his power to push his church's agenda. And he's the best candidate.
The second candidate is a hick. He was once the mayor, but was not re-elected. On the rare occassion our small town makes the news, his speeches are an embarrassment. His accent is barely decipherable. He must have slept through every class they ever taught grammar in.
The third candidate is severely retarded, literally. He also doesn't live in the real world at all. I don't want to belittle his character, because he is an excellent person, and brings a lot of morale to the town. Sometimes it seems a bit like a scene from Radio. Despite all this, I highly doubt he can run the town. He marches around town wearing an orange safety vest, shouting into a fake walkie-talkie. He thinks he's a member of a S.W.A.T. team. Should he be elected, he wants to require that all residents of the town to start wearing orange vests.
The three listed above are the best my town has to offer. The cream of our local crop. If this is the best local sources can supply, I want to know when we'll start importing.
No comments:
Post a Comment